Odyssey Trail Running
Rampage
Saturday, September 8,
2012
Douthat, Virginia
This race has been on
my race calendar all year, at least the marathon distance. Todd believed I
could do well at the marathon, he thought I could perhaps place Top 3 for
females. I thought the 40 Miler sounded more up my alley as I feel that
distance is really becoming what I want to pursue. After Promise Land in April
I decided to register for the 40 over the marathon. All summer we’ve run long
runs in the heat, slowly pushed our mileage up, and focused on hills and
trails. I am positive that our training could be improved upon in the future,
but it wasn’t a bad start for my first 40 miler.
The week leading up to
this race I ran the Virginia 10 Miler course on Monday and then a Wild
Wednesday trail run of about 6 miles on Candler’s Mountain. Even though I was
supposed to be ‘tapering’ I couldn’t restrain myself from giving about 85%
Wednesday evening when the group went up Lone Jack Mountain, at the top my
calves were tight, by the end of the run the right calf was even stiffer.
I rolled them out using the stick over the next few days, especially down
between the calf and ankle and they just seemed to get increasingly tighter and
even more painful. So much for a successful taper, in the future I should
attempt Jack Mountain at no more than 50% three days before an important Ultra.
Friday morning Todd
ran out for vital race day groceries and Panera pastries. Throughout the day we
ate bagels and muffins and filled gear bags. We counted out our GU and
Electrolyte tablets, we readied our Bag Balm and made sure our favorite shorts
were clean. We focused on the little tasks at hand instead of what we were
actually gearing up to do.
Saturday morning we
awoke at 3:30 a.m. so as to make it to Douthat in time for the race briefing, I
ate one last bagel at just before 4 am, it wasn’t enough as I found out at the
starting line three hours later when my stomach was already asking for more
food and I hadn’t even started running. In the future I need to eat more food
before heading out on a long run. I should have known better after my 30 mile
birthday run, starting out with 2 sandwiches in my belly a half hour to an hour
before the run is much better for the run as a whole. Starting at a deficit
will only lead to further trouble.
Even though we were up
early and on the road we still made it with little time before the race start.
I had to express milk and get dressed after we got there as I knew it would be
a good 8-9 hours before I would be able to pump again. I had just gotten to the
drop bag area where we had decided to set up our own aid station and the race
start countdown was less than five minutes. I took my first grab bag out (5 GU
and 3 Electrolyte tablets), I ate my first GU and took the salt tabs. I also
grabbed half a PB&J sandwich hoping that it would be enough to calm my
hungry stomach. It wasn’t enough, but it was something. Looking back this was
such a poor error in judgment, fueling is crucial in a distance event and I
started far too close to empty for comfort.
7 a.m. and we were off
and running. I fell right in with Courtney, my favorite rival from the Mountain
Junkies series this past spring, we chatted about dogs and children and I was
able, for the moment, to ignore the fact that we were climbing. The next
several miles are mostly uphill, single track and lots of switchbacks.
Almost immediately my lower right calf, still tight and achy, let me know just
how unhappy it was to be climbing before sufficiently being warmed up. I chased
both Courtney and Todd up the climb but the calf began to worry me. I started
taking walk breaks sooner than I had planned. I knew that my calf could loosen
up with the run but I was ready for some relief. Todd pulled ahead and then
Courtney pulled ahead. At the first aid station the terrain leveled out some
and I started to feel some of that much needed relief in my leg. When the trail
started to descend I was finally able to pick it up a little, I passed Courtney
and caught up with Todd. I stayed with him for the remainder of the first loop,
with Courtney right behind us. By the end of the first loop I felt really very
good, I had drank about 30 oz. of water (a 20oz. disposable up the first climb
and about 10 oz. from my Ultimate Direction handheld) and taken four more GU. I
was foolishly beginning to think that the loop seemed easier than the hype I
had heard from Todd.
Starting out on our
second loop I felt almost better than I did on the first loop. During our time
in the transition area there had been cheering from the sideline that was
encouraging. I grabbed my second fuel bag, consumed my salt tabs and stuffed my
GU in my bra; I grabbed my extra water bottle for the climb and half a
PB&J. As we started back up the climb for our second loop we passed
Courtney headed into the aid station we were just leaving and I felt the need
to push more and take the climb on strong. Todd encouraged me to pass him and I
did but I didn’t feel good about doing so, I was hoping to keep him with me for
at least the second climb. I ran and walked to the aid station at the top of
the climb and grabbed some pretzels but otherwise didn’t stop. I was running
down the downhill that follows passing bikers who were calling words of
encouragement when I tripped on a rock and went down hard. I slid like a
baseball player stealing home. Three thoughts immediately came to mind: 1.) I
wish Todd were here. 2.) Don’t cry. 3.) Run. I really wanted to stop, sit on a
rock, have a good cry and wait for Todd. However, I knew if I didn’t start
running right away that I would quite possibly stiffen up and be done for the
day. I was hurting but I started running again as soon as I stood up. My
right knee, thigh and elbow were bleeding and stinging and moving took enough
out of me that I slowed considerably compared to the pace I’d been keeping
before the fall. Unfortunately, the most debilitating aspect of my fall
was that my confidence was shattered. My mental race was broken, at least for
the time being, I kept looking behind me for Todd. I took walk breaks more
frequently. My stomach started to growl and I began to question everything
about my running. I started debating a DNF, wondering how I was going to finish
the race. I was falling apart fast, thinking seriously about withdrawing my
MMTR entry, and my running in general. It was a downward spiral. I was
walking more and more frequently and finding no desire to run. I would turn
around and look behind me every minute it felt like, hoping to find Todd
closing in on me. At one point I thought I saw Frank Gonzalez behind me, it may
have actually helped move me for a half mile until the man, not Frank the Tank,
passed me and I fell from 6th place to 7th overall. I
walked from the aid station at mile 24 (aid station 3 in loop) across flat
ground. Flat “why are you not running” ground. It was crushing, my spirit was
almost gone. My stomach was growling, it seemed unsatisfied with the primarily
GU diet of the day, and I was starting to feel fatigued. Finally, going
up the steady hill after aid station 3 I caught sight of Todd on one of my
numerous backward glances. He was gaining on me and I pulled over and waited
for him to climb the hill. He yelled halfway up for me to continue. “I’m done”,
I responded, acknowledging my hunger for food and my lack of will to continue.
Feeling pumped he spread his wealth of adrenaline as best he could, it’s only
your wall, he said. Todd’s presence definitely pulled me from the top of that
hill to the end of the second loop. The group cheered as we came in again
together. I only spoke enough to tell Ronny, the race director, that I really
did not want to start the third loop.
With only a minute or
so at the aid station I grabbed my final gear bag, as much food as I could
carry and I headed out for the third loop. Todd and I started the climb
together as I attempted to satisfy my seemingly insatiable appetite. I ate
another Strawberry Banana GU, half a PB&J, a handful of Pringles and drank
20oz of water. I felt my hunger subsiding as we walked the majority of the long
climb but muscle aches and foot pains had taken their place. I hiked along
behind Todd, he offered to let me pass but I was relying on his companionship
to pull me up the hill. I don’t know that we spoke to one another over the
course of the next three miles. Near the top I started to get antsy that we
were walking too much. Not that I felt strong enough to run, but I felt that I
needed to increase the distance between me and the rest of the pack (I am,
after all, a most competitive runner). I was convinced that every other runner
out there was stronger than me and was certainly running up that third climb
and about to pass me at any moment. When we finally reached the aid station at
the top of the mountain Todd sat down to take a salt pill and I looked at him
aghast, are you really going to sit? Fearing the competition enclosing upon me
I left him sitting on the mountain beside the Gatorade coolers and headed on
alone. I didn’t see anyone as I headed on back from the aid station so I
convinced myself that a forward moving motion would suffice. I ran but
ran slowly, fearing running on empty.
Thankfully this next
section is largely downhill but I wasn’t pushing hard, just pushing onward when
less than two miles after the aid station Todd literally flew upon me and
passed me as though I were standing still. His break at the aid station that I
mocked had clearly benefited him with a second, or was it a third, wind? I was
exhausted just witnessing his effort but I do believe I did pick up the pace
even if only a little. I started to break the race down, only eight miles left,
imagine an eight mile run just beginning on tired legs. Only two miles left
until the next aid station. Only a little further until the long gradual climb
and so forth. When I finally made it to the aid station at the horse camp I was
walking flat, paved surfaces yet constantly looking behind me for approaching
runners. The long climb after this aid station was slow, I walked it
almost in its entirety but it was also the point at which I had seen Todd on
the second loop and I knew that it wasn’t all that far to the finish so just
reaching the climb was at least a half-pleasantry. Climb this hill and you know
you can finish this race I told myself.
These next few miles
were tough but they were also rewarding. I knew that the lure of the finish
line was enough to pull me onward. There is a section of trail that runs along
a lake at the very end of the loop, this is where I had my ‘I am really doing
this’ moment. I knew that the finish was close at hand and that soon the 40
Miler would be nothing more than memories and recollections, race results and
finishing times. And then, with a little more than half a mile left to go, Todd
appeared running towards me. He stopped and let out a most terrifying shout,
bellowing “YES” presumably at my presence. He shouted some more words of
encouragement but all I can remember now is that first deep throated scream. He
seemed as stoked to see me that close to the finish as I felt to be there. That
and he was clearly coming back for me so he was probably thankful that he didn’t
have to go all that far to find me.
And then I finished.
Not quite sure yet how I feel about my race even now, a whole week afterwards.
I don’t feel that it went well. My tripping on a rock, falling and the
resulting mental collapse in the second loop was a real unconstructive way to
run an ultra and yet I’ve not run enough to know how else to feel. I mean
should I expect pessimism to rear its ugly head with distance running? Does
conquering long distance truly get better with experience? Was what I feel to
be a ‘bad’ race day really a pretty good one?
I finished the race in
7:42, which was good for 8th overall and 1st female. I feel like I still have a lot to learn about
training, fueling, and mental fortitude and I am perhaps more nervous about
Masochist. I was hoping for a little more confidence coming out of this race
but now I have even more reservations.
-Alexis
-Alexis
